24 Hours with Sheriff McAllister.

Today our crew will follow Sheriff McAllister to give our viewers a gimps of his daily routine.

4:20 His alarm clock goes off.
Sheriff puts his pants on, one leg at the time, and I bet he is going to brush his teeth next. 
No. He won't brush his teeth. Of course not. The last thing you want when you arrest a criminal telling straight to his face: "BUSTED!" is to swoosh his face with a minty breeze. You don't want that.

4:30 McAllister's phone ring.
We can't hear what's said from the other end of the phone, but we can focus on Sheriff's replies. Hopefully, that will be enough to clue us in to their conversation.

McAllister: "You? What do you want? You want me to pretend I'm you? All day? Where? OK get back to me on the exact place and time.... I'll leave right now... Yes, I have a question for you. What if I fall out of the character? You can do that? You can hypnotize me over the phone, so I'll stay in character? OK that should work, but before you do that let me just say. If I do this for you, we are square, right? With this my debt is paid in full."

-That was strange. Did we hear it right; you agreed to play a character, and who were you talking to, Sheriff?

McAllister: "Uhm... yes... I'm part of a Guerrilla Theater... and that was... uhm... that was my... my manager. Today's performance will be in Sacramento. So buckle up boys. We are taking a field trip"

4:45 McAllister practices his performance by watching a movie on the TV. It's one of those films based on funny books. You know... the one with the masked vigilante. McAllister is turning on the volume. Let's hear it... the clown from behind the screen says: " I'M BATMAN" and the clown infront of the screen... I meant Sheriff McAllister replies with a smirk in his voice: "thpt... and I'M RED JOHN"

- I think we know who the Sheriff is going to impersonate. For those who don't know who Red John is a brief background from wiki: " Red John is a serial killer, he's believed to have begun his killing spree in 1998, and has, with his operatives and acolytes, killed more than 50 people in California, Nevada, and Mexico, throughout his murder spree."

5:00 We are in Sheriff's car leaving Napa.

6:30 We arrived to Sacramento. We are sitting in the car, waiting.

7:00 We are still waiting... wait the phone rings. The Sheriff answers.
McAllister: "Alexandria Cemetery. Don't worry I got your text with all the info. I'll be there."

7:45 Chapel at the Alexandria Cemetery. McAllister walks in. From what we can gather, the performance already started. One man is on the floor one is sent out by the Sheriff, so our guess would be that the guy in the front row is the unsuspecting audience.

7:47 Sheriff walks up and takes the stage. He starts with a spot on Pee-wee Herman impersonation. The audience is not very impressed. Tough crowed. This guy is something. He still does not realize he's been played. Wonder if he ever will. He stares like a donkey in the fog

7:50 The sole audience finally decides to participate and pulls out something from his pocket, He hands it over to the Sheriff. Watch out McAllister, he might be part of the show and the joke might be on you. Hey... Watch Out!... He is reaching for his pocket... He has a knife... No, he has a gun... Oh NO, Oh NOOO he has a KILLER PIGEON. This guy is good. He must be a magician. Sheriff whatever you do, don't look the bird in the eyes! Damn, too late. He already did... Now he is probably seeing a dinosaur. Yep, judging by his reaction it's T-Rex.

7:51 The magician in the cheap suit goes for the hidden gun and shoots the good Sheriff. WOW. The event turned upside down. The guy McAllister sent out runs in and... he takes one from the magician, as well.

7:53 I told you the magician is part of the show. Now, it's him giving the lecture.

7:55 A female performer walks in. The question is what were her instructions? Is she on the Sheriff's payroll or not? Thank God she's on McAllisters side. Alright, now McAllister stands up while the woman fights his fight. Surely, McAllister will show him who's the boss, after she's done with him.
No. He won't show him nothing. At least not right now... Change of tactics. The Sheriff inconspicuously leaves the scene... obviously, trying to remove the magician from his comfort zone... Good thinking.

7:58 Yeah, the cemetery is good.
No the cemetery is not good. Sheriff want him out further.

8:02 Sheriff runs through the glass door... Evidently still under the influence of that Killer Pigeons gaze... or that window was spotlessly cleaned with Windex. *product placement*

8:03 Sheriff is still searching for the higher ground. A School Bus full of children... That's good. 
No. The School Bus is not good.

8:10 Sheriff McAllister's plan to tire out the magician is working. The guy is slowing down. Kudos to Sheriff for staying ahead of his pursuer for as long as he did, even wounded. The magician could use some lessons in tracking though.

8:20 McAllister reaches the Park. Yes, right under that tree... by the pond. That is where the Sheriff  takes his stand. But wait...why is he laying on the ground? CUT... CUT... I said CUT !!!!...

- I have to call the studio. Hi Boss. Yeah I'm not sure if you want me to continue the broadcast. Well... the magician is on top of the Sheriff and at this point I'm not sure if they are going to engage in a public sex or fight each other. It can go either way... Oh wait, never mind, We are back on the air... The Sheriff is going to stare the sh*t out of the magician.

8:25 The magician lost. He broke the staring contest and is now on the run. Yeah, run you cheap carny swindler and take your pathetic act with you. The good Sheriff won.

- OK Sheriff you can get up now. You won. He lost. He run away... Sheriff... Sheriff???
Cameraman: "I think his dead"
Host: "What? Was this for real? No way, it sure looked fake. Oh well, in that case there is only one thing to do- Thanks everyone for watching the 24 hours... ahem.. a partial day with Sheriff McAllister, and what a Glorious Day it was. CUT... I don't get it."
Cameraman: "What's that?"
Host: "Why haven't the Sheriff run to his car from the Chapel to flee from the murderer?"
Cameraman: "Beats me. He even left the car running when we got out."
Host: "He did? Oh?... OH!... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Cameraman/Host: (in high five) JOYRIDE !