Theories of Da_Dum (5)

I didn't even watch the new episode last night.  I figured since Heller gave the middle finger to all hard core fans with the rushed and contradicting RJ finale, I strongly feel obliged to return the courtesy.

So why am I still posting on this site?  I guess it's a form of mourning my once favorite show that I once thought was a carefully crafted Moriarty/Holmes story, but turned out to be a dog's breakfast or random clues that meant nothing in the end.

Heller publicly admitted he had no idea who Red John was going to be until Season 4 and it clearly showed when RJ was finally revealed.

Adding insult to injury, Simon Baker admitted to voicing Red John at the end of season 4, playing the masked Red John at the end of season 2 and being lukewarm to the actual RJ reveal.

Oh well, not Baker's fault, based on his interviews, he obviously didn't like the way things turned out either.

Whatever direction the show takes now I already know it's going to be random and a desperate clutching at straws to maintain/boost ratings for syndication.

Meh ... walking the dog is better for me anyway.

Penultimate Red John episode kills all future Mentalist DVD box set sales with cheap imitation of RJ's work.

I said in my theory (#13061) I couldn't shake the feeling that Heller
was trying to make history by being the first TV series to ever re-jump
the proverbial shark.

Sadly my prediction was correct and oh how I wish I'd been wrong. :-(

Hopefully, I'm wrong about the South America angle the series might take if they want to try for a third shark jump.

I'd say spoiler alert, but honestly, how could I possibly spoil something so rotten?

To
anyone who hasn't watched the Mentalist before, do yourself a HUGE
favor and stop watching the series at the end of season 3.  

Accept Timothy Carter as the real Red John. That ending was brilliant and the acting was superb.

Then pretend seasons 4 to 6 never even happened, or else a very long long dream Jane had while in jail.

This leaked ending (if we're not being punked by CBS) is beyond a stinker.

It's
almost like it was written by first year college students taking TV
writing as a bird course elective (pun intended). 

Either that, or it's a gag
ending before the real ending (now that would be cool).

Can you imagine an experienced cop frisking Jane for a gun, finding it, but NOT finding a live pigeon on him?

Really ... think about it.

Can you imagine Red John's backup for his confrontation with Jane was a kindly church lady with a knife?  

Neither can I, but somehow "professional" writers managed to generate that random thought.

The entire episode was so frustratingly cliché, I didn't know whether to laugh or throw my computer through the window.

If we're being punked by Heller and CBS, great, that would be worthy of the show.  I'll have a good laugh at being duped by an unbelievably stupid plot line with an über awful ending.

However, if this is the real ending to the Red John arc, the following snippet pretty much sums up Episode 8 for me:

Heller, Heller, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy stupid episode?

Did he who made "Strawberries and Cream" make thee?

NOTE: For the full poem check out theory #13711 by stopwriting

Cheers to everybody hoping we're just being punked by Heller and CBS!

I'm sincerely hoping for a jaw dropping finale Sunday coming, but I can't shake the feeling Heller is trying to make TV history by being the first series to ever re-jump the proverbial shark for good measure.

(the first shark jump was when Red John came back from the "dead" after Jane killed Timothy Carter in the mall, IMO)

Now it looks like RJ is coming back from the "dead" again to try the jump one more time.

Will it be Bertram? The political bureaucrat who can't even play poker, suddenly turned cold, calculating killer who can outsmart Jane?  Hardly.

Partridge?  He's dead, despite them not showing his face in the last episode. Unless we assume Cho is totally incompetent and check his face off camera, after talking to Jane on the phone.

So who is Red John?

Rigby said the explosion in Jane's house was from military grade bomb and brought to the scene by RJ.

Cue Jaws theme for shark re-jump (da dum ... da dum ... da dum dum dum dum dum dum dum da dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ...)

Who was hunting deer in the previous episode with a military style rifle with night scope?

McAllister.

Who was supposedly burned to a crisp while separated WITH all the other survivors of the explosion (Bertram, Smith and Jane)?  

McAllister.

As for Haffner and Stiles?  Well if the Mentalist doesn't get canceled, they could always raise Red John from the dead in true Lost meets Mentalist style (i.e. Stiles) for a THIRD time by having Stiles and Haffner magically escape to Equador.

Afterall, there is talk that Jane will be fleeing to South America.

And Equador (where Stiles was going) is in South America ... just sayin'.