That's not a big deal with Red John being able to know all the 7 names, that's easy, If he knew about the hand shaking he could have just asked Lorelei M. to record all the names, and then when he got hold of the list (from the pictures that were taken he could have known) he could have just edited the recording and leave the selected names only.

The thing with the memory says that either its Patrick himself or it gives him a clue because he actually did tell this story to someone (like his wife) and this would possibly let him understand who Red John was.